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Thrift Library Response to the Coronavirus: Resources, Services, Advice, Free Stuff

Bookshelf - read covers from left to right - somebody had a little too much time on their hands

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Jokes


Chuck Norris has been exposed to the Coronavirus. The virus is now in quarantine for a month.

2020 is a unique leap year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 10 years in April.

To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus, you need other people washing their hands too.

I don't know why my fishing buddy is worried about Coronavirus, he never catches anything.
 
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The spread of the coronavirus is dependent on two things.

  1. The density of the population.
  2. The density of the population.

 

Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.

 

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I need to practice social distancing from ... the refrigerator.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog...we laughed a lot.

 

Homeschooling

Day 1 of Homeschooling:Prepared schedule, gathered materials, read 1st days lessons.

Day 2 of Homeschooling: Can I change the curriculum to making beds, picking up after yourself, taking out the trash?

Day 3 of Homeschooling: Be sure to put paper down before coloring.

Day 4 of Homeschooling: Play dough and microwaves do not mix.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

Day 8 of Homeschooling: My child just said: “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.” I’m offended.

Day 9 of Homeschooling: Sleep till 9. Disney, Sesame Street, Star Wars.

Day 10 of Homeschooling: If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.

 

Quarantined

Day 1 - Started a physical fitness program.

Day 2 - Learning to speak in a second language.

Day 3 - Subscribing to a recipe a day online.

Day 4 – Dressing up every day. 

Day 5 – Today, I tried to make hand sanitizer. Cant get it off my hands.

Day 6 – I get to take the garbage out. I’m so excited, I can’t decide what to wear.

Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!

Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen.” You must gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

Day 9 - Watching reruns of Chopped. Did you know you can eat chicken feet?

Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.

Day 11 - 

Day 12 – Now I realize why dogs get so excited to go on a walk.

Day 13 - Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.

Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.

Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?